To Kill The Doubt Monster or To Console The Doubt Creature? That is the question.

What is doubt?

Here is how Merriam Webster defines doubt: “Uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with decision-making.” I define it as this little creature in my head that thinks it is keeping me “safe,” when it really is holding me back.

Why do we have doubt?

Because life is FULL of unknowns. We have doubt to keep us from making rash decisions and to keep us safe. Ok....so I guess that’s a good thing?

How is it helpful?

Doubt helps us by causing us to question, answer and take action. It gives us cause to pause and reflect so that we can see the truth of the matter.

How is it harmful?

Doubt is harmful when we are uncomfortable with doubt. When we are fearful of questioning and of the unknown. When doubt causes us to become fearful, it can be very negative and even crippling.

One way Doubt has affected me is in the form of SELF DOUBT.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been praised for being so involved, so busy, so ambitious. This may look excitingly risky and adventurous. Now, luckily I do have many interests (it’s the Gemini in me), but running away from something and running towards something can look very similar from the outside, but they feel completely different on the inside. I hate admitting that often times in the past my busy-ness came from a need to do more. That need to do more comes from a place of dissatisfaction. And that dissatisfaction is a product of my own self-doubt. This was my version of running away. It’s taken me a while to realize that my productivity that was widely praised by society, was causing me to live in my own perpetual world of doubt constantly running away from myself instead of being comfortable with myself as I am.

Which brings me to the question: KILL the Doubt Monster or CONSOLE the Doubt Creature?

KILL the Doubt Monster

…was my answer in the past. Remember? A monster is a scary thing! And to kill the Doubt Monster I’d tell myself the exact opposite of what the doubt had to say.  It would say things like, "No way can you do that," or "This is uncomfortable. Make it comfortable!" or "Nobody is going to think you're good." And I'd force myself to respond with, “Megan, you can do it,” or “Accept it for how it is,” or “You’re enough!” And yeah, it would lead me to take action and take risks and do a lot of cool things. But I didn't like being motivated by fear. To suddenly just force myself to believe the opposite of what I was feeling also didn’t sit right. And for someone who can doubt so strongly, it was easy to just doubt these mantras too.

CONSOLE the Doubt Creature

…was the breakthrough I had with Doubt. A creature is something unknown, but not scary like a monster. And when I sat with the Doubt Creature, embraced it, accepted the doubt for what it was, it suddenly wasn’t something to run away from. From that point I found myself in a place of acceptance-which TA DA!!!!....is the opposite of doubt. From acceptance I could ask: Is this something that truly interests me or am I doing this to prove myself to my fear and to other people? And making decisions from a place of acceptance rather than fear is a much better way to build your self-confidence. 

THE BEST PART ABOUT IT

This has had a direct and positive effect on my day-to-day life by improving my own self-confidence as well as my relationships. Also exciting, is that is has increased my own interest and honesty in my art as well-and all forms of my art from acting to martial arts to voice over to writing!

All the best to you as you #findyourway! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

xo,

Megs